You're Love is Nothing I Can't Fight

So, today I was listening to one of Lady Gaga's songs, "Paper Gangsta" and a lyric came up that I happened to like. (I'm one of those people that uses lyrics to desrcibe my life. Lame lame lame)

It went: "I'm looking for love not an empty page full of stuff that means nothing."

& I was ABOUT to put it on my myspace, or twitter it, until I really thought about the meaning of it. I analyzed it. I sat there pondering. Then, I was like huh? I'm not looking for love. That's ridic.


See, I always laugh at people who are my age. And if they're having a deep conversation with me & we're discussing boys and such, if they so much as mention the three-syllable F word: Forever- I laugh in their face & walk away. Okay, well maybe not so harshly. But in my head that's how the said event would go down.

For example, I used to be really close with a friend. now, we became close in about sixth grade until maybe eighth. We always talked though and never really lost touch, we just kind of grew apart. And maybe it was more like I grew maturer and she eventually slowly progressed into her "teen" phases (ew, I hate referring to myself as a teen.) But, one day she met a guy. The same day, he asked her out.
"Will you go out with me?"
"Yes" Hug, hug, kiss, kiss. Blech, don't you just hate that corny way of asking someone out? It seems so juvenile. Like to make it official you have to utter those words. I would like my next relationship to be a slow progression into which we mutually UNDERSTAND that we're in a relationship. We don't have to officially say we're "together".

Anyways, my old friend became on the verge of obsession with this boy. He was an asshole in my opinion. And just plain grungy & disgusting. Desperately needed lesson 101: Personal Hygiene. Yet, she still was infatuated. Every myspace status she posted would always be something like "miss my baby. cant wait to see him friday." and her mood would be "miss him/luved" Yep, she spelled love like that. & DON'T GET ME WRONG! I adore my friend, even though she is still a tad bit immature, but hey everyone gets older on their own time. But then you would go to her page & it would be ALL about her boyfriend and how they were going to stay together FOREVER & EVER. Insert gag face---->

& of course, there are many similar stories like this one. They all ended. Needless to say, my friend's boyfriend broke up with her after she had practically built her life around him at the age of fifteen. I have to give the relationship props though. It lasted 9 months which is a hell of a lot longer than any of my relationships. Although, for two of those months her boyfriend was on that "camping trip"- explanation below.

I guess my point is, if you're still young (& I'll let it be up to you to interpret what age young is to you) don't get all hot & heavy. Don't search for love. Trust me, in this day and age I highly doubt you'll be able to find it at this age. That's my word of advice, which many rarely ever receive.


However, if you decide to ignore my wise words: Keep on searching by all means. Who am I to tell you what to do ? But if this boy goes on a "camping trip" for two months where he gets no cell phone or internet access therefore he can not contact you for said two months, I can tell you right now that's not your "love" so I would advise you to keep it pushin'.


Search or don't (I know I'm not),
-L.

In Your Brown Eyes

I'm slowly realizing so many things that have slipped past my immediate attention.



I'm going to be nicer from now on. Realization has hit hard.


-L.

Let's Go See The Killers & Make out in the Bleachers

So, today started off as your typical horrible Monday. I woke up with a sore throat fearing I had caught the Swine Flu. Ahhh! Attack of the pandemic. But thankfully, it didn't last all morning. Then, I managed to forget my cell phone at home for the first time in almost a year. It then dawned on me how much I rely on my cell phone because I became extremely irritable, which only worsened my sore throat. I went to school, late as always. Then I sat through boring English. Yes, Lord of the Flies is uninteresting to me. So sue me. I left school early then went & volunteered, which is always nice. It lets me concentrate on something not really important and allows me to calm down and just focus on whatever task I'm supposed to do. Plus, Mrs. Smith is just an absolute sweetheart. I can't believe how terrible I was in her class in eighth grade, haha. She asked me to help her with the Musical Review. It will be nice to finally get some artistic activity in my academic-filled schedule. It's been a while. So we're going to co-write the script together. Fun, fun!

I don't believe I've mentioned my promise to Clarissa to go running every other day each week so we can finally become fit again. Yes. it's happened like once. Something always comes up between the two of us. We have much busier schedules than we realized. But, tomorrow we're definitely going running again. I actually like it too. My only problem is I'm always so hungry and Skyler told me in order to be a good, athletic runner you mustn't eat a lot after you run. So, of course, after the first time we ran I was famished & we "ran" to Wendy's and ordered two cheeseburgers, fries, and a baked potato. Oh, and also a chocolate freezie. Haha. Then we ran back & scarfed it down like the fat children that we are. Hahaha (=

So, tomorrow is STAR testing and I can't really say I'm looking forward to it. But, I must get a good nights sleep because my grades are currently crap so I have to accel in every other way I can.


Bon voyage my loves !

xoxox,
-L.

I'm Looking for Myself Sober

Well now, haven't I just been neglecting my blog? I apologize. I haven't really felt the need to write until now. So, I finally managed a whole week of school & this whole weekend was dedicated to me getting my grades up and searching for a good online drivers ed program. Finally I can get it. Yeah, pretty excited about it (:

I feel like my whole life right now is all about stress. I stress about stupid, material things. Yesterday, I went to the mall & got a mani/pedi which cost me $27(yes, I'm really about to list what I bought include their prices.), then I bought Charlie a ride on the Merry-go-round which was $1.50. After, I got him a Happy meal which was about $4.00. Then, I bought myself food which was $3.75 & after-against my instincts- I got $5.50 worth of candy. Yes. It was terrible. So like $42 I spent yesterday. & That was supposed to be clothes money. So now I'm figuring, I only have $44 left and some of that has to be for food and stuff during the week. Fuck man. I barely bought any clothes yet too. Gosh! See! I'm getting stressed just writing this. Ergh. And it's pointless materialistic worries.

AND if I don't get my grades yet I can't get a worker's permit, which means no summer job which means no money. Great. I don't know though. Maybe I can save up money. Ha.


Until we meet again,
L.

Please Don't Stay in Touch

Look inside
Look inside your tiny mind
Now look a bit harder
Cause we're so uninspired, so sick and tired of all the hatred you harbor

So you say
It's not okay to be gay
Well I think you're just evil
You're just some racist who can't tie my laces
Your point of view is medieval

Fuck you
Fuck you very, very much
Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So please don't stay in touch

Tokens of Love

Well, today I got some rather disappointing news. I was told I have to do independent studies this summer, which I already knew, but I was also informed that if I don't get my grades up then I will not be allowed to attend school during the fall semester. Oh yay. This just isn't going to do .. but I have no other options. All I can do is work my ass of this summer and junior and senior year. I suppose ..


It has been so hot lately. I despise the heat ! And especially since my air conditioning broke down. Oh well, the weather forecast for tomorrow is cooler. I hope I dress accordingly. If it's hot and I'm wearing jeans I just might die.


Time for bed,
L.

With their tanks and their bombs and their guns

I really should become more consistent with my blogging. But, I get extremely lazy. It's a terrible affliction.

I just cried my eyes out about the past and the overwhelming stress I haven't been able to shake for a while now. I was writing a message to an old family friend about family drama that's been going on and it all just sort of came streaming out, no holding back. Ah well, I feel better now. Not too much better, however. Eh, it's still progress right? It's strange. I still feel this heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach.

School is in one more day. Anxious. I don't want to go. Spring break went by so quickly. It was all a blur.



Well, Monday it's back to business. Clarissa and I have goals to go running every other day. I plan to accomplish my goal of getting a bikini bod' for beach season AKA summer. it can't come quick enough! I'll walk on the beach and people will be like who is this chick?! Haha, just kidding.

Be good &- like I always tell Clarissa- stay safe,
xoxoxoxoxo !
-Lexie

How Could You Do it ?

Lately, I've been getting the urge to write a song. Or poetry. I so want to learn how to play the guitar or piano. A friend once told me if I'm going to learn, focus on learning the different chords and to not try to learn a song all of a sudden. I am extremely grateful he gave me this advice, because I most likely would have tried to learn a song all of a sudden.

I'm stressed about school at the moment. Yeah, not good. I worry about it too much.


This spring break has been nice so far, nothing too special. But it's still a break from school and that's joy in itself. I have plans for the rest of break & then the Ellen show on Saturday.
Tomorrow, I'm finally going to return some of the items I bought last Saturday. Then, Friday I'm finally going to check out the new Forever 21 that everyone seems to be raving about. Talk about enchanting?

Goodbye my dears.
-L.

PS. of course Disneyland soon(Sharissa). I'm anticipating it (: Let me know when.

Meet Me at the Top

Hey there ! Let me just start out by saying I am exzauszausted :P I want to go to sleep as I type this and it's only 9:15 ! Haha. HAPPY EASTER :D So I had a pleasant Easter. I went to Ry's family's house in Riverside. It's a gorgeous house with an even more gorgeous backyard ! So spacious. The exact type of backyard I want when I'm older, plus a pool and jacuzzi of coursee [:

So, tomorrow I'm thinking the beach perhaps ? I want to go to Second Street and browse the boutiques but, I'm not tooo sure.
I SERIOUSLY would love to go to Disneyland and just immerse myself in the mystique-like atmosphere. I feel a need to ride Pirates of the Caribbean, my favorite ride since I was a little girl- besides the teacups and Peter Pan ride of course ! Aha. What is it about Disneyland that everyone adores so much ?


So, I'm going to head to bed. Sorry this was incredibly short and probably not too interesting.
My apologies a thousand times over ..
-L.

I'm Not the Complaint Department

Hello, Hello! Just another midnight post (: An update, if you will.

Today I had Friscos for the first time and I have to say I was not impressed! I got pastrami, and I didn't know it was possible to fuck up pastrami but there you have it! I was sorely dissappointed. Then, I gave alll my little doggies a bath & dyed Prin pink. Haha, she looks just so adorable. She strongly resembles a pink marshmallow. Haha! Then I sat down and watched Xmen 1&2. Greaaaat. I wasn't too taken by it.

So now, here I am. Sleepy and probably should be immersed in dream land, but I am not. I'm going to settle in and watch Harry Potter.

Hope everyone has an amazing Easter tomorrow [:

Love,
L.

Gibberish

I don't have much to write today. Just an update. I still haven't returned anything because I have an eye infection, so haven't had the chance or the will to go to the mall.

I don't want to be mad at this one boy. But I am. I don't think I'll let him know though, because that's exactly what she wants and I think this is one of the rare times I will remain passive aggressive.
I don't appreciate being kept track of through my online trails and the numerous places you can most probably.. hm, what's the word? STALK isn't the most appropriate one but it's the only thing that comes to mind. So yeah, at the moment I'm a little ticked off about that.

Tomorrow is school. Fantastic.

-L.

Loosen Up

I'm feeling rather nostalgic today for some strange reason.

A million thoughts are racing through my mind. It's tiring not to be able to explain yourself clearly.

I just got done catching up with Gossip Girl. Seriously anticipating the next episode.

Currently reading "Remember Me?" by Sophie Kinsella. She's a really charming author. Although, so far, my all-time favorite novel of hers is still "Can You Keep a Secret?". That really had me laughing out loud. I adore reading!


Going to return to my book(=

xoxo,
-L.

What's even worse.

So, yesterday I went shopping with Alexa. I had 300 dollars in my wallet. Actually, I had 300 on a Visa card, haha. But, we ate and then started our mission. Alexa wanted to get some things for her trip to New York during Spring Break. Mainly, she needed a jacket. Me? Well, I needed clothes and just new things in general. It was way past due that I get new stuff. So I think I'm pretty happy with what I got. Although, it made me really start to realize how little three hundred dollars can get you. Not that I'm not grateful! But, I'm starting to have a slight case of shopper's remorse. I'm sitting here contemplating what I can afford to return and what I can't. What I got was 2 purses- one was a cute handbag from Aldo(my splurge of the day .. 35$ !) it's a teal color & i adore it, then I got a sort of bohemian satchel. Then I got a pair of brown gladiator sandals, which I'm going to return. I don't need any more shoes I figured. A white scarf, I couldn't pass it up because I love the material and such. Then a floral bright blouse with ruffles- I know, I know. Sounds terrible; but it is extremely cute once you see it. A black dress, which I am going to return also, a fedora(extremely cute, I have been longing for one for a while now), a red striped tank top from Hollister which is also being returned, a white blouse from Abercrombie, a navy blue pullover from Abercrombie, and some medium blue ripped shorts from Abercrombie also. Seee how much I got ? Not that much ! And all I have left is only nearly forty dollars. Ergh. I actually need some new Vnecks also. I don't know. I need a job :| I want too many clothes. Ah. It's ridiculous. That is my current problem.
Then, there's the turmoil that's consumed my thoughts for almost the whole day. Drama. On twitter. Haha, it's the new Myspace. Ridiculous. I can't avoid it.

I'm wondering where I can apply for a job. Maybe, Forever21 ? It said they were accepting applications. But, I wouldn't be able to work until summer.

I dyed my hair black last night. I have to say, I'm delighted with the results. I was in need of a change.

Now I have to determine what I'm going to about my clothes situation. To return or not return? Stay tuned for the resolution!

LOVE,
Lexie

Fmylife.com

"Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML"